Nights at Desperado's
Title
Nights at Desperado's
Description
This is a post about boys.
While I certainly did not come here to meet anyone for any type of romantic or otherwise relationship, I also never considered what the complexities of that might be. Back home, as a queer and trans person, dating and meeting people is difficult. It involves a fairly laborious process of navigating explanation and misconception. It gets increasingly difficult as layers of difference between me and my intended partner are added. But I have grown accustomed to this in Kentucky as well as some other places I have traveled to within the United States. While it certainly isn't a homogenous experience, I pretty much know what to expect and how to gauge my safety and comfort level.
Being in a bar in South Africa made me really reconsider and think differently about some of these concepts. What does it mean for me, as a white person, to be interested in and show affection towards a person of color in this country in a public space? What about approaching or "talking" to someone who is the perceived "same sex" as I am? How do I talk to someone about being genderqueer and queer? Is this really that different or am I projecting?
When I go to the bar back home, I am pretty used to both gay and straight bar culture as well as what my own boundaries and expectations are. However, after spending day after day studying the legacy of apartheid and the reality of democratic South Africa, I finding myself asking all of these questions.
As I eyed a cute boy at the bar Friday night, I started to ask myself all these questions, realizing that within less time then my lifespan, it wouldn't have been possible at all. I think back home, because the stonewall rebellion/Jim crow/the civil rights movement were "so long ago" (I mean not really but it can certainly feel that way), this isn't nearly as salient to me. I've done five times as much studying on these movements as I have on apartheid, but there is something about being here, and the newness of it all that was extremely profound.
While I certainly did not come here to meet anyone for any type of romantic or otherwise relationship, I also never considered what the complexities of that might be. Back home, as a queer and trans person, dating and meeting people is difficult. It involves a fairly laborious process of navigating explanation and misconception. It gets increasingly difficult as layers of difference between me and my intended partner are added. But I have grown accustomed to this in Kentucky as well as some other places I have traveled to within the United States. While it certainly isn't a homogenous experience, I pretty much know what to expect and how to gauge my safety and comfort level.
Being in a bar in South Africa made me really reconsider and think differently about some of these concepts. What does it mean for me, as a white person, to be interested in and show affection towards a person of color in this country in a public space? What about approaching or "talking" to someone who is the perceived "same sex" as I am? How do I talk to someone about being genderqueer and queer? Is this really that different or am I projecting?
When I go to the bar back home, I am pretty used to both gay and straight bar culture as well as what my own boundaries and expectations are. However, after spending day after day studying the legacy of apartheid and the reality of democratic South Africa, I finding myself asking all of these questions.
As I eyed a cute boy at the bar Friday night, I started to ask myself all these questions, realizing that within less time then my lifespan, it wouldn't have been possible at all. I think back home, because the stonewall rebellion/Jim crow/the civil rights movement were "so long ago" (I mean not really but it can certainly feel that way), this isn't nearly as salient to me. I've done five times as much studying on these movements as I have on apartheid, but there is something about being here, and the newness of it all that was extremely profound.
Creator
Jyler
Date
May 26th, 2013
- Date Added
- May 26, 2013
- Collection
- Jyler's Field Journal
- Citation
- Jyler, “Nights at Desperado's,” Race, Gender and Social Justice Histories of U.S. & South Africa, accessed April 27, 2024, https://wgst591.omeka.net/items/show/28.